In every toddler group, there is a broad range of personalities that emerge. Often, one child is “the quiet one”, another is “the daredevil”, and invariably one is “the bully”. There are  many problems that come from using these labels , but setting those aside, let’s talk about aggression in toddlers – specifically, what to do in the moment, depending on whether your child is the aggressor, or the recipient of aggression. I have many memories of bullying and aggressive behavior in my childhood, though I don’t remember much from my toddler years. In my younger years, I was most often the victim of bullying, while in high school (and even college to some extent), while I still felt like a victim fairly often, I also relished the power that came with being the aggressor. Through all my experiences in elementary and middle school, one common thread was that I constantly felt that the adults who were supposed to protect me were not there for me. I had a revelation recently a...

I have written this post in response to a  recent article  by Tracy Cassels of the site Evolutionary Parenting. Tracy asked for clarification or corrections where necessary and I felt strongly compelled to respond point by point to dispel the many inaccuracies in that piece. I have interspersed a bit of my own opinion, but chose to support my points primarily using quotes from  Magda Gerber , herself, as evidence. So for you, Tracy, and for any readers who might also misunderstand: Tracy said:  “What I do know is likely the same as any parent who decides to go looking into it without immersing oneself completely so, arguably, it speaks to how an average person would interpret RIE given the articles freely available.” The fact is:  Tracy wrote a piece indicting a philosophy for incorrect facts that she did not take the time to clarify or understand better and she used “an average person” as an excuse for doing minimal research and drawing inaccurate c...

Elimination Communication (EC) refers to the practice of tuning in to your child’s communications about their elimination needs. It is based on the premise (surprising, in our culture) that even newborn babies have a natural desire for cleanliness and an inborn ability to recognize their own need to eliminate. We used occasional EC with our son almost from birth and have always done it respectfully. Resources for using EC respectfully are limited, and I don’t often see productive discussions about how respectful parenting and EC can fit together or how EC can be done with the utmost respect for the child. My story is a perfect example of how it worked in my family and with my child. It won’t work for everyone and it will look different for some. The most important thing is to keep listening to your child, to set your agenda aside, and to parent with respect. I was skeptical at first, but when I tried it with my two-week-old baby, I was amazed! I had no idea that I would be ...

I have been thinking a lot about limits over the past few days. After a week of being a single parent while my husband was on vacation with friends, things were running pretty smoothly. I went the entire week without losing it once or even really ever getting frustrated. That was a real accomplishment for me! At first, I attributed it to having no one to fall back on and having to just make it work. Over the last couple of days though, I’ve realized that it probably has a lot to do with the fact that I’m finally really feeling confident in setting limits. J is 20 months old and not particularly verbal, but very communicative. He is also extremely physical, inquisitive, and persistent. Those are all wonderful qualities in a person, but in a toddler, they can be exhausting! It means my little guy is constantly climbing something, messing with the dogs, pulling everything out of a cupboard or box or off a shelf, and doing it over and over and over again. This post was inspired ...